It seems as though when someone gets sick, they are either sick of being tired or tired of being sick. I am sick of being sick. I have had a cold three* times in the past month. I don't have a nearby camera or I would take a picture of my nose-in-need. And it has been a while since I have used the personal groomer. I like to keep it at a number 2, not too short because it gets cold in the winter, but not so long I look like Walter Matthau. Y'know, simple.
Anyway, I was glad to find that Wal-Mart's Equate brand cold medicine works just as well as Day-Quil because it is one third as expensive. Luckily gas doesn't cost nearly as much, so getting to the store is cheaper too.
Though being sick has its advantages. You can get out of work meetings or presentations because you "don't want to get people sick." Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified of avian flu (H5N1) but I don't pal around with shady birds all too often. Though I did get my start in the living room of an extremist bird many years ago....
In the event of a pandemic there are certain things to remember:
-Avoid large gatherings (finally, an excuse to not go to church)
-Wash your hands (with soap and water. I know, who knew?)
-Make me the primary beneficiary in your will (I will explain this after you die)
-Tin foil hat (Everyone knows tin foil hats are the best protector against this "flu")
-Liberal use of hand sanitizer (yes, spread the wealth of sanitizer and socialize!)
-Most importantly, don't "know" any birds as Adam "knew" Eve. Simple to follow, yet incredibly helpful.
By following these basic rules, along with the ones that are actually effective, you can be assured that your chances of developing the flu are decreased. In fact, just by staying indoors and reading this post have decreased your chances by 0.0000001%! I know, crazy.
*This is week two of what I think is the same cold making a comeback, thus it counts as two.
Memories!
11 years ago
3 comments:
I know may think that extra vitamin c sounds cliche but you have to get the right kind and it will do wonders! I recommend Himalaya Amla C it is available at Wild Oats/ Whole Foods and I can't say enough good about it (I am not getting paid to do so either). You can take two at a time 3 or 4 times a day, the good thing about vitamin c is that what your body doesn't need it just passes through. You will know you have reached your limit if you are trotting to the bathroom... if you know what I mean. I think it would take a lot though, in all the mega doses I have taken I've yet to experience this less than desirable side effect. Good luck, and while I appreciate your generous offer to mail me a hot dog on a stick, it would taste about the same as getting from Sonic at that point... Don't they understand putting something deep fried into a closed container essentially negates the deep frying?
did you get your flu shot?? hahahaha
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